This blog post is only for a certain type of person. Please answer the following quiz questions to determine whether or not you should proceed:
I’m in it for the ____!
I care about musical theater and its history ____.
- More than you’ll ever know
- Not at all
Small towns are _____.
I am bothered by investments involving former meth labs:
Mostly 1s – keep reading!
Mostly 2s – check back next week for a different post. This one’s not for you.
Now that it’s just us, I’m going to get right down to it. The house that was Cole Porter’s birthplace and childhood home (through age 10) is for sale!
Here it is:
Gorgeous, no? (And not just Derek – we all know that already.)
It’s located in a little town called Peru, Indiana (some older residents still pronounce it Pee-roo, but most people these days just pronounce it like the country). It's about an hour from Indianapolis and two hours from Chicago, to kind of set the scene, and get this: It could be yours for only $130,000! Truly, these 4,000+ square feet are ready for the right person to snap them up.
Why did you ask about meth labs, you might ask? Well, supposedly part of the property's noteworthy history is that it was also used to cook meth (insert awkward collar tug). This could be a positive thing depending on your outlook, I guess, and also somewhat historical – maybe the meth cookers were channeling Cole Porter’s father who was himself a druggist (albeit a legal one), or even giving a nod to Cole Porter’s own recreational drug use. Regardless, since you've already agreed that you're okay with investments that may involve former meth labs, let's push that aside and move on to the plan.
- Purchase the house.
- Clean up any residual meth.
- Renovate just a little: create a mini Cole Porter museum on the ground floor that’s open to the public, create a medium-size performance space (ideally 25-50 seats), soundproof a couple of practice rooms
- Set up an artist’s retreat! Artists (songwriters, composers, whatever) stay for 3 months, at the end of which they give one performance, which means the performance space you created in step 3 will be used at least once per month.
- Continue to apply for grants to support the endeavor, as it will likely not be super lucrative, but who knows, Peru could become for songwriters what Marfa is for visual artists!
To answer all of the questions that I know are rolling around in your head right now:
- Yes, there is a dive bar and a coffee shop within a few blocks of the house for the artists' various (legal) vices
- Yes, there is a beautiful public library practically across the street
- Yes, the International Circus Hall of Fame is located nearby (I know you were really worried about that one)
- Yes, there is a river that may someday have engaging activities
In the midst of this tongue-in-cheek post, I secretly think this could actually be a great opportunity for someone, and am actually sad that Derek and I can't be the on-site hosts for the retreat center. But like all ideas, I'm sending this one out into the void in hopes that someone else will realize it and I can live vicariously through them without having to actually do the work (or inhale the lingering meth chemicals, in this case).
Just let me know when it's finished!